How to deal with Ego

"Life is to be lived and not to be questioned"

... Sri Amma Bhagavan.

How to deal with Ego


In the first place we should remember that we are dealing with the Ego inside us. Many times we think that we have to protect ourselves from others’ ego. There is no need for this. We can never see Ego inside someone else unless we have the same in us. It is the Ego inside us that makes us see the Ego inside someone else. We should be very clear about this. When we talk of Ego, the habit of the mind is to see ego in others and not in ourselves.

Ego is a part of this Human Mind. We cannot erase or reduce it. We should understand this clearly. The Human Mind is made up of so many elements and the Ego is one of them. We cannot control Ego too. The more we try to control anything in the Mind, the more it will be predominant. Since we cannot erase Ego, because it is a vital part of the Human Mind, we should also know that we cannot be without Ego. So what should we do?

Here we should learn what Humility is. It appears that the opposite of Ego is Humility. The question comes: How to be humble, if we cannot be without Ego?

The answer is simple: Being aware of this Ego inside us is Humility.

The Ego, for its survival, we know, does not allow us to see it. But the moment we see it, (see the chapter ‘Ego games’) - its games are finished. It can no more play its games. It is something like this. There is a thief inside your family. The thief is an integral part of the family. Hence you cannot get rid of him/her. So what do you do? All you can do is: keep a watch on the thief. The thief cannot do thieving when being watched, is it not? The same way, when we keep on watching this ego and its games inside us, the ego cannot play its games. The ego will be there but cannot damage our work or spoil our relationships. We can only be free of this Ego. We cannot erase it.

We can practice this awareness by understanding and remembering the Six games of Ego.

To facilitate us, Sri Bhagavan talks about the six games of Ego. The Ego in order to survive inside us always plays one of the following six games.

Dominating others:

Domination of others is a natural game for the Ego to Survive. We normally dominate others saying we are parents, spouse, leaders, employers, officers, head of the family, etc. Our position as parent or a leader gives us the excuse to dominate others frequently. Most often in the pretext of concern for the organization we are working for or as concern for the other person, our mind subtly allows us to dominate others. More often we are unaware of this subtle interference of this Ego in many of our relationships.

(We shall see more of this in the Chapter, ‘Inner Integrity’.)

2. Refusing to get dominated

We should understand clearly that it is the Ego that refuses to get us dominated. This is another subtle and a dangerous game that Ego plays. If we do not have Ego, why should we in all resist if another person is dominating us? In the absence of this Ego, we will happily surrender to domination by others. But most often we do not like to be dominated in any way. We should understand that this is nothing but the Ego playing inside us.

3. I am Right

The Ego in us always would want to prove that ‘we are right’. Again and again, we would argue or try to prove that we are justified or right. There will be lot of explanations done by us in order to prove this. We should be aware of this Ego Game when we try to prove that we are right.

Why should we ever prove we are right? If we really right, there is no need at all to prove it. The Nature or the Universe or the God (whatever you call it) will prove it for us if we become aware of this game of Ego inside us.

4. You are Wrong

This is the other side of the above coin. Just as we prove we are right, we also prove that the other person is wrong. This is nothing but the Ego playing its game inside us.

5. Survival

Ultimately, the Ego in order to survive inside us will simply lead us into thinking that it is playing none of the above games. Ego will always justify itself. The mind will lead us to think that we are not all infected with Ego or we are absolutely right in our egoistic approach.

6. Cover-up

Very often we cover up our Ego by commenting about others or finding fault with others. We should be very much aware that it is this Ego and Hurt that is more often finding fault with others. (Here we are not talking about practical functional faults. We talk about characteristic judgments and blaming others.)

"Learning does not happen with age. It happens when you are ready to receive it"

– Sri Amma Bhagavan

Oneness Newsletter - Edition 125


This week's Webcast Teaching of Sri Bhagavan to contemplate:
"The AWAKENED One lives in humility. The unawakened one cultivates humility." - Sri Bhagavan

Warm Regards,
Anuradha Chandrashekar, Ahmedabad
093759 48988

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